What Every Parent Needs to Know About Choking

I’ve come to believe CPR, the Heimlich, and basic first aid shouldn’t just be optional extras for parents—they should be non-negotiable. Handing a new parent their baby without teaching them what to do in an emergency feels a little like giving someone car keys without a seatbelt. Honestly, they could make you practice on a mannequin in the delivery room while you’re still in the gown.

I say that half-jokingly. But here’s why I don’t take it lightly:

At a birthday party not long ago, my daughter started choking on a piece of salami. One second she was laughing with the other kids, and the next she couldn’t breathe. My stomach dropped. Inside, I was terrified. But I tried to stay calm—asked her to cough first, ready to jump in with the Heimlich if that didn’t work. Thankfully, she coughed it out. The party rolled on, but I was shaken.

That moment made it crystal clear: you never want to feel unprepared when your child’s life might depend on you.

What Is Choking?

Choking happens when something—usually food or a small object—blocks the airway and prevents breathing. It can happen in an instant, and young kids are especially at risk. Round foods like hot dogs, grapes, nuts, and candy are common culprits.

Signs someone is choking:

• They can’t speak or breathe.
• They might clutch their throat (the universal choking sign).
• Their coughs are weak or silent.
• They may start to turn red or blue.

If a person can still cough strongly, encourage them to keep coughing. But if they can’t breathe or their cough is silent, that’s when you step in.

The Heimlich Maneuver (Abdominal Thrusts)

The Heimlich maneuver is the standard method for conscious adults and children over 1 year old. Here’s how it works:

1. Stand behind the person and wrap your arms around their waist.
2. Make a fist with one hand, placing the thumb side just above their belly button (about 2 inches) and below the ribcage.
3. Grab your fist with the other hand.
4. Deliver quick, forceful upward thrusts into the abdomen.
5. Repeat until the object is expelled or the person becomes unconscious (in which case, begin CPR).

Modifications:

• Toddlers/small children: Kneel behind them and use less force.
• Pregnant women or people with obesity: Perform thrusts higher, against the breastbone.
• Infants (under 1 year): Do not use the Heimlich. Instead, alternate 5 firm back blows (face down, head lower than body) with 5 chest thrusts (face up, using two fingers on the sternum).

Can You Do the Heimlich on Yourself?

Yes. Make a fist and thrust into your abdomen, or lean over a sturdy chair or counter edge and press your upper belly forcefully against it until the object comes out.

Risks and Reality

The Heimlich can cause bruising or even break ribs if done forcefully. But in a life-or-death situation, the benefits far outweigh the risks. Seconds matter when someone isn’t breathing.

Preventing Choking in Kids

• Cut food into small pieces.
• Avoid hard candy and whole nuts for younger children.
• Teach kids to sit while eating (not run around with food in their mouths).
• Supervise meals and playtime with small toys.

Final Reflection

That day at the birthday party could have ended very differently. I never want to stand frozen, hoping for the best, when I could be prepared to act. And I don’t want that for any parent reading this either.

If you haven’t yet, take ten minutes to watch a video or review a guide. Better yet, sign up for a CPR/first aid class. Even knowing just the basics of choking response could be the difference between panic and action.

👉 Here’s a solid place to start: Red Cross First Aid/CPR Resources.
👉 And for a detailed medical overview, including step-by-step instructions for adults, children, and infants, see the Cleveland Clinic’s guide to the Heimlich maneuver.

Because parenting is unpredictable, but preparation doesn’t have to be.